


Secrets

by runners345ready



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, F/M, Fighting, Nightmares, small comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 12:10:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7891771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runners345ready/pseuds/runners345ready
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam still can’t believe it.  It was surprising enough that this man in the mask was actually Runner Three.  Simon was alive and Five had lied to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [abelrunner5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/abelrunner5/gifts).



Sam still can’t believe it. It was surprising enough that this man in the mask (Phantom of Abel sounds so ridiculous now) was actually Runner Three. Simon was alive! That was enough, but then he got to thinking. How did Five know he was there? When she went running into Deadlock territory, it seemed crazy. People don’t go into Deadlock territory. Not if they valued their life.

But Five had been stuck in Deadlock territory. Alone, without him. He’d been sure he was going to lose his fourth Runner Five that day. Not even to zombies this time, to people.

Then Five came back without a scratch. Made some soft claims about finding a secret base in a log cabin and losing the Deadlocks there as well as finding the files on Commansys. No one questioned it. Five had proven herself to Abel over and over again. No one had a reason to.

But with three of his runners sleeping in the middle of dangerous territory watched over by a madman wearing a mask, he hadn’t gotten much sleep. That gave him plenty of time to think. And then he came to just one conclusion: Five had lied to them.

******

While she came back, all alone, but not too much worse for wear, considering a crash landing and all the human problems. Sam usually would be more worried about her. This time though, he couldn't help but think accusingly. ‘Why didn’t you say something before, Five?’ ‘Why don’t you say something now?’

She comes in the gate and has the nerve to not come to the Comms desk to see him. It’s not like it’s out of the way of the training yard. He watched her trot by the window on her way there.

Angry and feeling betrayed, he decides to do what is probably the least rational thing and go speak to Five himself.

At the barren area they use as the runners training yard, he makes a quick scan, assuming he’d spot Five right away. But he doesn’t. At first he thinks she might have left out the back, probably trying to avoid him. He does another scan and spots Five. It’s no wonder he’d missed her the first time, he was looking for movement. It seemed Five was often moving, maybe more than any of the other runners. This time she stands stock-still in front of a rack of mismatched weights. The modest black and white doesn’t exactly stand out. Not like Si… Other runners wear.

He watches her for a while, then she suddenly makes a move so quick he doesn’t really know what happened. Next he sees the entire rack of weights is on the ground and Five is pacing in front of them feverish, hands fisted in her hair and seeming to drag her head down. She stops pacing, still for only a moment while staring at the toppled weights, then she goes to setting them right again.

“Five!” Sam calls out to her, finally approaching. She jumps rather impressively, considering she’s carrying quite a few weights in a stack in her arms.

“Hey Sam,” She says reservedly, setting the weights down and straightening to meet his eyes. “Listen, about yesterday-”

But he cuts her off. He can’t listen to her explain before making his own thoughts known. He might be inclined to believe her too easily.

“How long have you know Simon was alive?” Suddenly she’s not the loose, relaxed friend of his. She stands straight and speaks with the military curtness she uses so often for debriefings.

“Since the mission in Deadlock territory when I lost Comms.” She never talks to him like this. It almost throws him. Almost. But he already suspected this fact.

“So that’s where you found those papers?”

“Yes.” Again with the curtness.

“And you didn’t think to tell anyone about that? I mean, it’s kind of an important…” He trails off, not sure how to finish.

Five is silent for a while, as if waiting for him to finish. She decides he isn’t going to finish.

“He made me promise not to tell anyone. Let him continue to be dead.” She says it so matter-of-factly. But it still manages to enrage Sam.

“Keeping a promise to a traitor was more important than telling your people that said traitor was not dead and pilfering supplies from our town?” It’s this that gains a reaction, and he only notices because he’s watching Five so intently.

Her lips turn downward for just a moment and her eyes narrow.

“Sam I was alone out there. I couldn’t hear you. I was surrounded by Deadlocks and I…” She’ll do that, just stop when she can’t find the words. That’s something Sam hasn’t quite mastered.

“What did he want? Did you tell him something?” He didn’t mean to be so accusatory, but it’s really what he was afraid of. Now that he knows that his runners have gone off Comms and done things against his home… He worries about every stretch of silence or static.

“No, of course not.” Five should sound more offended, but she’s been on this end of suspicion before. “But Sam, he saved my life and gave us some useful information. I know he’s done some terrible things, but I owed him for that.”

“You owed him? This is the same person who tried to poison the entirety of Abel and dropped a child to be eaten by a pack of zombs! And you owed him a courtesy?”

“Sam, I was sure I was going to die. I don’t trust him any more than you do. But when you’re out there alone, sometimes you do what you have to.” Now she is showing some emotion. Maybe that’s what Sam wanted, but it’s only making him angrier.

“Obviously you trusted him enough to go to him for help.”

“I had to do something! Travis wasn’t giving up. It was getting dark. We were running out of options.”

“You shouldn’t have-”

“Did you want Jody to die?” It’s as close to a shout as he’s ever heard from Five, especially to him. Her body language completely changes. Instead of the steady soldier stance, she fallen towards the intense running position when she knows there’s about to be serious action.

“No, I didn’t!” He defends.

“Sure seemed like it.” And this really pulls him up short.

“I was doing everything I could!” Sam retorts.

“So was I. So were all of us. It’s different when you’re out there alone.”

“Don’t act like I don’t understand!”

"We don't all get to live our dreams after to apocalypse! Not all of us get to be the radio guy we always wanted to be. Some of us are forced into things we don't want to do! You think I want to go out there everyday and risk my life? Don't act like you get it Sam, cause you can't understand." Her face was burning with anger, but then it falls toward sadness. Five turns, starting to trot away.

"Oh sure, run away from this, like you run away from everything.”

She freezes, her shoulders heaving like she’s been running all day. Then Sam remembers she has been. She turns to face him.

“You know what Sam, I do a lot of running. It’s kind of my job. You know why I run? There’s this little voice in my ear. It keeps me safe, tells bad jokes. And I trust him with my life. I don’t run away from stuff anymore. I run for someone.” With that, she turns and runs off. Sam can’t think of anything more to say. He just watches her go, at a loss for words.

Five and him have never fought like that before. Sure, people used to have rows like this before, even after the apocalypse. But him and Five have always gotten on so well. They always trusted each other so completely. Are they going to be able to trust each other after all of this?

******

Five is later lingering by the hospital. It’s no one’s favorite place to visit, especially the runners, further than they are required to by protocol. Staying in the hospital means you aren’t able to run, or worse.

Lobatsy steps out and spots Five before she can make attempts to sneak away. She almost tried though.

“Owen is doing fine, we’ve stopped the bleeding. He’s a little out of it though, thanks to the drugs.”

Five nods silently, relieved to hear it.

“Jody is in there already, but I can let you in to check on him if you want.”

Five smiles politely and shakes her head.

“Just wanted to hear that he was okay.” She starts to move away.

“Are you okay, Runner Five? You’re looking a bit pale.” Lobatsy questions.

“I’m fine. It’s been a long day.”

“I know. You should probably get some rest. I doubt you slept well last night, from what I heard about the adventure.”

Five exhales slowly.

“It’s been rough,” She finally states simply.

“I know. Just take care of yourself. We still need every runner we can get.”

“I will. Take care of that one, please.”

“Of course. If you ever need anything from me, you know where to find me.”

Five smiles slightly.

“Thanks Doc.”she replies, then leaves with intentions of running the perimeter fence until she’s exhausted. That’s the only way she’s been able to find sleep lately.

******

A few days later and Sam still hasn’t talked to Five outside Comms. He wants to, but is afraid he’ll apologize first. And he doesn’t want to do that, he’s not sure he’s ready to. But he has to talk to her before they go off on the mission that will involve scuba gear and hopefully saving a mind-controlled Maxine. He can’t let Five leave without a goodbye. Something could go wrong.

Paula and Lou were calling it a day from training. It was getting towards night. The training yard was pretty basic out on the track. Boxes and other random bits of material were set out to simulate the possible obstacles that might be found on the Latisha Grinwald. Patrols, doors, even the possibility of traps had to be accounted for, and tactics devised to avoid them.

They’d been focused on this training for a while now, on top of ordinary runs as well. Five’s heard Lou complaining a bit, but Paula hadn’t that she’s aware of. Most likely anxious about getting Maxine back. They all are.

That’s why Five has been running this track almost nonstop. Trying to be faster, thinking around all the inevitable problems, preparing herself to kill if necessary to get Maxine back. That’s not something she wants to do, but she will if that’s what it takes.

“Five! Are you alright?” Lou calls out and breaks a stupor Five didn’t realize she was in, staring blankly at a manikin someone had drawn a crude zombie face with a green marker that was washing out and bleeding green smudges.

“Fine,” She hardly raises her voice enough to hear before taking off again.

‘If there’s a guard here, we can duck down into these shadows. If they spots us we’ll have to… to…”

******

When Sam hears Paula’s worried voice shouting ‘Five!’ any other thoughts about anything in general absolutely vanished and he ran towards the call.

It wasn’t difficult to find the source of the commotion, cause both Lou and Paula were running in the same direction. He followed behind as quickly as he could, seeing something that almost stopped his heart.

Five was laying on the ground, limbs in awkward positions.

Paula and Lou got there first, Sam not far behind.

“Is she..? What’s wrong?” He stammers helplessly.

“I think just exhaustion, she’s breathing fine and her pulse is strong. High from running of course.” Paula states very clinically, though relief is plain in her voice.

“And running, and running, and running. Really needs to learn how to take a break, this one,” Lou mutters.

“Five?” Sam crouches down beside her, on the other side of Paula. “Do we need to..?”

Five gives a small grumble, and shifts a hand around to press it to her head.

“Huh? Where..?” She lifts her face and edge up nose to nose with Sam. “Uh…”

Sam immediately scoots back.

“Five, you passed out. Did you hit your head? Take it slow,” Paula warns while Five sits up slowly, propping herself up on her forearm.

“I’m fine. I just… It’s fine.” She starts to set her feet underneath herself and levers herself up.

Sam finds himself steadying her without thinking about it.

“We should take you to Lobatsy, just in case.”- Paula steps forward.

“I said I’m fine, just... tired.” Five sends glares around when the others glance at each other doubtfully.

“I’ll take you to your bunk.” Says Sam. Five is about to protest, but Sam continues. “No doctor, just rest. You can’t go on the mission if you’re feeling like this. I won’t let you.”

Five’s look at him is bordering on a glare (probably for saying ‘he won’t let her’), but she’s too drained to protest and instead walks with him towards the dorms. Once out of sight of Paula and Lou, Five speaks to Sam.

“Thanks for getting me out without involving the doc. I can take it from here.” She starts to step away, but he keeps his grip. Not firm, but she really doesn’t pull too hard.

“I was serious about taking you to your bunk. I’m not letting you run off somewhere. I’m trying to be responsible.”

Five offers a weak smile, but it quickly fades.

“Okay Sam. Lead away,” She says softly.

They move in silence, neither really sure what to say. Of course it’s Sam to break the quiet.

“What was that all about Five? Good night’s sleep usually keeps you in top form.”

“I haven’t been able to get much sleep lately,” Five admits.

“Why? You’re running yourself ragged, Five.” And Sam knows that a hard run always worked to help her sleep. At least, that’s what she’s told him.

“You know. Nightmares.” She says it like it explains everything. It kind of does, but Sam has to know more.

“What about?” Of course you’d assume the normal things. The world they live in is nightmare-ish enough.

“It’s stupid. And I don’t really want to…” She trails off, using the excuse of opening her door to stop talking.

“If you talk about it, it might help you feel better.” Sam stops in the doorway, unsure about crossing the threshold.  
Five looks, practically blankly, at him for a while, then lets out a slow breath and gestures him inside.

She pulls up a seat for him in the form of a milk crate and then sits down on her cot.

“I’ve been having nightmares about flying, okay? It’s ridiculous because the probability of being able to fly in the freaking zombie apocalypse is practically nil. But of course the two times I happen to be in an aircraft… Well, you know what happened.”

Sam nods at her to go on. She doesn’t appear to take notice, as she’s staring at the wall with her chin propped in her hand.

“I used to love flying. Did it every time I could. Recently it just seems like I’m a crash magnet.” She goes quiet again. “I go to sleep, then I’m on a plane. Sometimes it’s people I knew from before. Sometimes it’s you and the other people of Abel. Other times I don’t know anybody. It always starts out perfectly fine. Then the captain says something I don’t ever make out. That’s when I notice the kid coughing, always a kid. Sometimes it’s Molly, Jasper, or Carina, or the kid I used to babysit when I was fifteen. Then they tu…” She trails off. “Next thing I know it’s the whole plane. Then I’m just... falling.”

She stops again, letting out a deep breath. She glances at Sam.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Simon,” It’s such a surprise, he is left speechless. “It was just… I was... He…”

Sam’s never heard her so flustered, ungathered. So he doesn’t something he didn’t even really mean to do. He reaches across the small space and takes her hand.

And to his surprise she relaxes.

They lock eyes and come to an understanding. And for just a little while, even with the apocalypse and looming mission, things are okay.


End file.
